Living life to its fullest

Sometimes in my life, I hear the same thing from several very different sources, as though I'm MEANT to "get" whatever that message is. (Call it God, serendipity, whatever...I just recognize that it's happening.) Recently the message has been about living life to the fullest. Last week it came in the form of my dance teacher relaying a story her father used to tell.

At the end of the hour of adult jazz dancing, our wonderful, wise instructor has us cool-down with stretches to soothing music and then lie in "corpse pose" on the floor - on our backs with our bodies completely relaxed. She then shares a bit of wisdom with us. This time she reminded us that we are each like sailing ships. While a new sailboat might be made of gorgeous mahogany and gleaming brass, its point is not to stay, pristine, anchored in the harbor. Its job is to journey out onto the sea. There will be days of beautiful calm, serene seas and days of ferocious storms. Some of the brass may tarnish and some of the wood may warp, but the ship is doing the job it's meant to do, SAIL. Like the sailboat, we must venture out into life, knowing that there will be calm days and stormy days, easy times and rough times. But savoring each day for its uniqueness and LIVING each day, rather than just surviving it in some safe harbor.

I've heard this message, too, from Oprah and Maya Angelou - live life being fully in the moment. I'm working on this, as I'm the queen of multi-tasking and not really enjoying ANY of the things I'm doing. And this applies particularly to spending time with my kids. I find my mind wandering off to the next task, bill to pay, phone call I need to make, etc., while I'm talking with them or playing with them. The time I have with them, I realize, is extraordinarily short. I must stop my brain from racing ahead and SAVOR those moments with my babies.

Our pastor prays each week something along the lines of: "Lord, let me have everything, let me have nothing. Let me be employed for you, let me be put aside for you..." His point is, let me experience all life has to offer: all the richness of happiness and the depths of sadness, of having and of needing, ALL of it, for that is the journey we are meant to take.

I've certainly had all of it in my life, the joys and the sorrows. But have I savored it, appreciated the complexities and depth of it all? Not so much. But now I'm working on it. (I say as I sit alone in front of my computer! However, maybe spending time in introspection is the beginning of appreciating my life...) Because, really if I'm not enjoying, savoring, appreciating each moment, what's life for?

Welcome to My Addiction

I was told that blogging would become an addiction, and I can already see that. All day long I've been thinking of things that I want to include here. I'm going to have to keep a running list. And I'm going to have to find time to do this and still keep up with the housework. (Well, ok, let's be truthful here - just not get any further behind than I already am!)

This is going to be my forum for my random thoughts and musings, as well as my rants and raves. As you can already tell, I pretty much have an opinion on everything - hence the title. I've posted my first two rants - believe me there will be more to come! But I also want to share wisdom. I'm finding this to be a time in my life of LOTS of change and soul-searching. (That's why it's called a mid-life crisis, you know!) I'm having the opportunity to look at life in a whole new way. Perhaps age does bring wisdom?? Maybe I'm on my way to that.

So here's something I heard recently. A wise older woman gave my dear friend the following pieces of advice:

Raise your children to leave you.
She said this upon the birth of my friend's first child and I believe her point was to let my friend know just how short our time with our children is, and that it's our job to prepare them to be adults. So raise those babies with an eye toward the future. We need to ask ourselves, "What's going to be the best thing for them in the long run?" Not just what will make the child happy now, but what should I do that, over the long-term, will help make him or her a happy, well-adjusted adult?

This can be a tough one. Sometimes we just don't want to fight those battles - and sometimes it's fine not to. But other times our kids just need to know that the world *gasp* does NOT revolve around them. Yes, it's easier to pick up after them/do things for them than nag them to get them to do it themselves, but in the long run are we doing them any favors?

I'm a classic example. I went off to college and lived in a dorm with two bedrooms, a living room and a bathroom. (We got our meals in the dining commons.) Here we were, four very spoiled girls who, clearly, had not been required to do much housework. Long about November we looked into the toilet bowl and wondered, "What's that greenish stuff growing inside the bowl?" Not ONE of us had thought to BUY a toilet brush, much less use it!!! (Needless to say, we learned!)

Take care of yourself. No one else is going to do it for you.
This one, while seemingly obvious, is deep in its subtlety. As mothers, it is particularly easy to get lost in everyone else's needs and neglect our own. We spend so much time nurturing and caretaking, that we forget that we, too, need nurturing. And we need to be the ones to do it. That means scheduling time to do things that recharge our batteries, so we have energy to give to those we love. It's the old oxygen mask story - on airplanes, the flight attendants tell you to put your OWN mask on first, THEN the child's. Why? Because if you pass out, there's no one there to put it on your child! So we need to refuel ourselves in order to have something to give to others.

Going to bunco, taking a dance class, meeting a friend for coffee, getting a pedicure, and reading, are some of my battery rechargers. What I need to work on is refueling myself with SLEEP! That's my big area to work on. How about you? What are you doing for yourself? What are you working on? I'd love to hear...

Pet Peeves

Parking Lot Designs
Someone ought to realize that when you get out of your car, you are suddenly a PEDESTRIAN and design the parking lot/structure with that in mind! I mean, there are cars rushing about and nowhere safe to walk. Occasionally you'll find a parking area with a sidewalk between the noses of the parked cars where you can walk safely. That makes so much sense! You really don't realize the importance of this until you are walking in a parking lot with children, as I did today. It was late afternoon and the grocery store parking lot was busy. I had both kids holding onto the cart, so if I stopped the cart, they would stop, too. I had to be VERY observant and vigilant as cars were moving all around us. We managed to navigate our way safely to the van, but it really got me thinking. Drivers can't see kids when they're backing up because the kids are too short, and kids don't understand brake lights and reverse lights, etc. Children will usually follow along if you say, "Stay on the sidewalk," but there are none in parking lots, and few in parking structures. Even if there were a painted pedestrian "path" to walk on, then drivers would be aware of it, people could walk in a designated place and kids would have a defined area to walk within.

Turn Signals
While I'm on the subject of cars, let me just spout off about turn signals. A turn signal is there to give drivers behind you a clue as to what you are about to do. It allows those of us not currently reading your mind to have the opportunity to slow down and not smash into you. So when you're reasonably close to your turn, go ahead and flip on the blinker. It doesn't cost anything extra, and your fellow drivers will appreciate it. (But it doesn't count if you hit the brakes out of the blue and THEN turn on your signal as you're turning. That sort of defeats the point, as the driver behind you has already figured out what you're doing and has sent a stream of cuss words in your direction.)